haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
