its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
