i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
