So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize