Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
