I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
