and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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