Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
