mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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