honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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