There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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