You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
