Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
