oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
