hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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