please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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