her facebook's as public as her vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
