my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
two words: eviction party
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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