So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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