Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
