Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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