i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
