It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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