So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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