he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
