We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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