how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
