Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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