i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
