I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
