what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its liver damage thursday
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
