come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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