my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
