felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
