I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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