Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize