he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
