How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
