I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
