Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
