Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
