found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
