how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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