Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
