Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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