you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
