Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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