I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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