I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
