I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
