He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize