Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
