So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
