god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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