I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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