Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
