@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
