fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
