you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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