I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
