I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
