She is in my trunk
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
