I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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