I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
