my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
