You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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