We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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