Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize