I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
