Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
